Anna Gilmer

I pride myself on being a perfectly unorganized person. If you need proof, just look in my room. I know where everything is, whether it’s in the closet or on the floor. Organization isn’t a priority for me. As far as I recognize. But I’ve noticed something lately. I find myself being unintentionally organized.

Take this blog, for example. Writing a blog is fairly new to me, at least one thats regularly updated and such. But I already, subconsiously or not, have a pattern in my posts. The titles are always started with a “doing” verb. “Coping, Being, Dealing”. I open with a story, a real life example of the point I’m trying to prove. The body of the story is just venting or more examples of what I mean. The part where I try to make a point. and the closing paragraphs are where I try to give the reader something to leave with. A moral, or a heart moment. Usually the part of the post where I’m most vulnerable. Where I put the most out there. I’ve just unintentionally organized this blog.

I volunteer at a hospital every Wednesday afternoon. I sit at a desk for four hours and let the families in and out of a secure area where the babies are born and kept. I’ve realized subtle patterns in what I do there. Every week can be different. But I always use the restroom before I go in the secure area, Then almost exactly two hours into my four hour shift I go downstairs, grab a coke or a water (depending on how healthy I feel that week) use the restroom again, and go back up and finish my last two hours. Then I come down, grab the pizza that comes out every week at 4:15, eat it, then go home. Every week. I’ve just unintentionally organized every Wednesday of my life.

Possibly the reason I try to stay away from organization, is I don’t want to lose the spontanaity of life. Maybe I have this inbred fear that if I plan, or organize, or make everything black and white, the life won’t be near as exciting or wonderful as I always try so hard to make it.

This wasn’t a very momentus post. I am not feeling very “heart-felt” today. I just wanted to write a quick (not very quick, most people probably stopped reading about 5 sentences in) post about how sometimes, organization isn’t always a bad thing, and the expected isn’t always harmful. But too much of a good thing can become a bad thing if we aren’t careful. Bam. That is all.